I wrote the other day about what it means to “wait” on God. Today, I want to offer the first of several practical ideas that I have on what you can be doing while you are waiting on God to work in your marriage.
Today, I suggest to you that you Be Still. When you’re looking for something proactive to do, “being still” may not be the first thing that comes to mind. I think that’s usually because it may seem like a lack of action rather than something for you to actively do. However, if you truly try to be still, I think you will see that it’s much more work than it seems.
We all know the verse that says “Be still, and know that I am God.” Yet, how often do we practically apply this to our marriages? Do you think that if you are quiet and don’t consistently draw attention to your husband’s bad decisions, he will think it’s okay and just continue in them? Do you feel like you need to help your husband to make certain decisions even though he’s asked you to allow him to do them? Are the words that you say to your husband ones that build him up and encourage him or are they words that show him your discouragement and frustration with him? Do you make small comments as a joke about how your husband forgot something at the store last night or how he didn’t take the trash out like he said he would? If any of these ring true with you, I would challenge you to the idea that you need to Be Still for your husband.
Let’s look at the second half of the verse, first. “Know that I am God.” I think so many times, we actually forget who God is and what He’s capable of. It seems that the longer we have to wait, the less capable God is. Has he forgotten me? Is my husband too stubborn for God to reach? Does God even want this to be different? Without my commentary, read these verses and “Know that I am God.”
“I am the LORD, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?”
Jeremiah 32:27 (NIV)
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
Psalm 34:18 (NIV)
“And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.”
Phillipians 4:19 (NIV)
Do you remember that God? Once you remember that God, and not the God that your discouragement tries to tell you about, it’s much easier to actually do the first part of the verse that says, “Be Still.”
Once you remember that God is greater than anything you are struggling with and that He is working out His plan for you, you can more easily surrender the reigns to Him and allow him time to work. Let me assure you of something…God does not need your help. He just doesn’t. He does not need you to make a single comment in order for your husband to know that what he did was the wrong thing. He doesn’t need you to say a word in order for your husband to feel the weight of his sin. He doesn’t need you to say anything. Period. So, be still. Stop making the comments that you think are “helping” God in His mission. In all reality, those very same words are probably driving your husband further away. He’s probably growing more and more resentful to you.
Instead of trying to be your husband’s holy spirit, be still and allow The Spirit to work in His life. You will be amazed at how much better He is at His job than you are.