Many of the women who email me asking for help in their marriage have one major concern: Their husband won’t step up and lead their home. He either won’t lead the home financially or spiritually. Or they won’t lead their children. Or they won’t even make any decisions about daily happenings in the home. These women are worn down and tired of “having to do it all on their own.” However, if we step back and look deeper, oftentimes we find that he has been shut down repeatedly when he does try to lead.
Do you, as a wife, question the decisions that your husband makes about how to best discipline the children? Do you resist his authority when he makes a major change in the budget? How supportive are you when your husband tries to make simple changes in his own life so that he can lead his children better? Do you mock him and belittle his attempts? If so, you may want to survey the damage that you yourself have created. Once you beat him down too many times, he will eventually give up and stop trying. If you want to be in charge, go ahead. Take over. See where it gets you. Here’s my email, because you will soon find yourself down and depressed and looking for help to fix the problem you’ve created.
OR you can listen to the advice of Titus when he admonishes the older women (the obviously more experienced women…who have probably tried to take over once or twice and realize the foolishness of that decision) to teach the younger women how to treat their husbands. He tells them to “train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands…” (emphasis mine)
So how do you go about this? I recently read this quote on a blog of a friend of mine. “All it takes for a man to lead is a woman who is willing to follow.” Your husband doesn’t have to have all of the answers in order for him to lead his home. He just has to have a woman who supports him. Just give it a try. The next time your husband suggests something (no matter how terrible of an idea it may seem to you), put a smile on your face and agree. Go along with his decision. Yes, he might fail. It might have been a terrible decision. But that’s not your concern. Your concern is to LET HIM LEAD. If you allow him to, he will eventually grow to make better and more important decisions.