From an early age, I’ve had to take care of myself and my children (I was an unmarried mother at 18) and I done it very well. After starting off life very poor, by my mid twenties, I was earning in the top 2% and have continued to do so. I am also very capable and can fix just about anything so I haven’t needed a man for much.

When I met my husband, I was very used to being in charge. So was he. I have never liked anyone telling me what to do and I wasn’t going to start with him. I did respect his intelligence and character and, for the first time in my life, I felt that I’m met a man who was my match. Unlike my previous husbands, he didn’t give up control to me but I wouldn’t give it up to him either, even though, deep down, I knew that if it came to it, he would win.

After 7 years of battling for control, our relationshop was disintegrating. I had to decide what I wanted — a strong man or one that I could control. Without saying anything to him, I changed my attitude. I started to deferring to him. I handed over control of the finances (we earned about the same) and he’s a lot better at money than I am. The effect on our relationship was immediate and drastic. I felt less critical and more in love. His attitude towards me softened and he become more loving and tender. It’s been 4 years and we are more in love than ever. I haven’t become a slave (he’s lucky if I cook 3 times a week) or less of a person. I haven’t become a housewife. He loves my intelligence and earning abilities. I have just embraced my feminity and I feel more powerful and happy than ever before.

We’ve said repeatedly on our site that Ephesians 5:22 (Where it talks about husbands loving their wives and wives submitting to their husbands) never says anything about an “If/Then” clause. It never says that IF your husband loves you then you should submit. It also does not say that the husband doesn’t have to love his wife if she doesn’t submit to him. When you get to heaven, God is not going to listen to you while you say, “Well, he didn’t do this, and he didn’t do that…” You will answer for YOUR actions and your actions alone.

Also, I must clarify something in your comment, according to scripture. Although this may sound completely unfair, there is never a scripture that says that the husband is supposed to dedicate his life to making his wife happy and to making her dreams come true. A husband’s goal, scripturally, is to serve and glorify God. Our purpose as wives? Gen. 2:20 says that we were created to be man’s helper. That is the entire REASON we were created…to help our husbands to do their job. If we are focused on our husbands making us happy, then neither we nor our husbands are fulfilling our real, God-given purposes.

Finally, it is very ironic that these teachings make you feel like a “bought and purchased piece of property”. That is exactly what you are. Jesus paid the ultimate price to redeem your soul. He died for you. He bought you with his blood. So, when someone buys you with their blood, you are forever indentured to them. If you are going to follow the Bible and its teachings, then you will want nothing more than to serve the God that gave everything up so that He could save you in the end.

I grew up in a very church based home and then when I got married……it was a major wake up call that has not stopped ringing for 25 years now.

The day I call my husband “master” is the day I give him a divorce.

I have dealt with the all the trials of trying to live my life by what the bible says, but you know, it never once mentioned on what the woman’s rights were when her own husband not only beat her brutally, but also has threatened her life.

I haven’t left him, because of what I have always been taught in church and I have to live every day with being “submissive” only to find out that not only is it giving him what he wants, but it is destroying me in the process.

What you don’t mention here is also the fact that the husband is supposed to dedicate his life to making his wife happy and making her dreams to come true. Not the opposite. How many men can you say that about?

Whether it be her succeeding in a career of her own or allowing her to be able to see her family and actually have friends.

So, if this is the case, then someone needs to have a really long talk with whomever wrote this stuff and look at it from today’s standards.

If you base your life on what was written thousands of years ago, then no matter what you do, you will find yourself being controlled and in the wrong ways.

I will say this though, I am denouncing what the bible says and I am going to have to go with what my heart is telling me and it is telling me to save my life.

Not call someone “master.”

You start calling someone “master” and you might as well just consider yourself a bought and purchased piece of property.

It also tells me that the woman that called her husband master, certainly didn’t see much in herself as a woman and by golly, she sure didn’t see the value in herself to be who she really is…..

herself.

I don’t mind fulfilling my role as a wife, but I flat refuse to be someone’s property and that is exactly what you are implying when you throw this garbage out about a husband being called “master.”

You also have to look at this garbage too for what the slaves went through also.

Do you really think they are willing to go along with this?

Please…….no one deserves to be called “master” and frankly, I am appalled that anyone would even consider this, even today.

Love you!

Submitting to your husband can be one of the hardest challenges there can be in a marriage. It takes skills of the mind we are not taught to use growing up. It takes an obscene amount of patience sometimes. I don’t always like it – or do it the way I should. I should continue to make it a daily effort. Doing so takes hard work, intelligence and knowing the bible calls us each to our place. I am blessed to know Christ. I am blessed to be a wife. I get to do a whole bunch of careers in one. I get to make my husband smile. I am blessed to have the opportunity to please God by submitting.

Thanks for the reminder Lisa! Love you!

When a man runs from his role in marriage, inevitably the woman steps in to take over because she senses that security should be there. When the man fails to provide it, the woman fails by stepping in to provide it herself and ultimately ends up hating her husband because she’s doing what he’s supposed to be doing.

Then, to top it off, if the man wants to be a man, he needs to get permission from the woman, who, having supplanted the man’s natural role, becomes the “man-maker” and ultimately plays the role of God. The woman becomes a false god in her own home breeding not love and security, but hate, resentment, infidelity and other things that are opposite the love that God intended in His natural order of things.

“An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who shames him is like rottenness in his bones.” -King Solomon

The problem isn’t women taking over the roles of men, it’s men not being man enough to let a woman be a woman. A woman knows a man needs to be in the house to guide guard and direct, and if there isn’t one, she actually is the next best thing, albeit not the real thing. It’s like a false prophet whose stolen the minds of the weak. Often times the only way to turn things around is to destroy them all and start over.

If a group of lunatics all gather together to claim they aren’t lunatics, it doesn’t mean they aren’t crazy, it just means they all agree with one another. Consensus isn’t truth.