Posted by: Derek Guyer | November 4, 2009

What a Weekend

img033#1I want to thank all of the men who joined us in Reelsville, IN for the Rise Up, Man of God men’s retreat. We had a great group of guys, from a total of six states, come in for the weekend. Many dedicated brothers and sisters of us had spent months praying for the retreat and its impact on those attending. I don’t think any of us ever imagined it going nearly as well as it did. God, through His Holy Spirit, did some amazing things in men’s hearts. To Him be the praise and glory forever.

In the meantime, the battle has been on. I watched a group of men walk into the retreat living like pretty good men, but walk back out men of God. Apparently, this has ticked off Satan. He’s viciously attacking with everything he has. But, I say with great joy, “We are not unaware of his schemes.” These men are overcoming and living in the freedom for which He set them free. Here is some of the feedback we’ve been receiving:

“I’m happy to tell you I’m on fire and still burning like never before for Jesus.”

-Bill of IN

“Gospel 101. Things you skimmed over that are utterly life changing truths.”

-Paul of MI

“I am changing my life in every way I can to glorify God…that is the best weekend I’ve ever had.”

-Brian of KY

“It was an occasion for an uprising in the faith of  a man that comes in surrender to the LORD and in being surrounded by other men of faith.”

-Mark of OH

“It was like opening a third eye I never knew I had.”

-Glenn of IN

The retreat reminded me what it means to be a man of God. It gave me strength in a storm, and most of all brought me into a closer relationship with the LORD.”

-Mike of MO

I saw tremendous shifts in men’s thoughts and some amazing life changes. Lies of the evil one are still being revealed. I keep getting these amazing calls, text messages, and emails from guys whose lives have been transformed, but who Satan is attacking like crazy. The most exciting part is watching the joy and purpose with which they’re living and fighting. I’m watching real men of God rise up and fight with the strength they’ve been given. Praise God!

I’d like to personally thank everyone who pitched in to make the weekend such a success. It was His work, but watching God’s people step up and make this happen was a big encouragement to me.

There were several instrumental players in all of it, but three in particular worked diligently to make it what it was. Two people offered more scholarships than I ever could have imagined. Half of those attending the retreat receivedimg034#1 scholarships to attend. Those scholarships played a tremendous role in getting men to the retreat, and I praise God for them. I’d like to thank them publicly and share what they did, but they’ve asked to remain anonymous, to the glory of God. Thanks for your service and heart for God.

I’d also like to thank Dan Malear for an incredible weekend of teachings. Working hand in hand with him to help equip men of God was a pleasure and a privilege. I’ve been blessed to work with Dan several times in ministering to needs within the body where he serves as an shepherd and learned so much from the experiences. His love for the people of God is evident to all and his teachings reflect the glory of the Father. Thanks, Dan, for a great weekend.

To all who missed out on the opportunity to join us, I’m sorry. I hate that you missed out on the fellowship, the challenge, and the nearness of God we all experienced. But, gentlemen, get ready. It’s coming again. We’re already working on the next retreat and anxiously await the opportunity to serve God’s people further.

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Posted by: lisarguyer | October 12, 2009

Put It Into Practice: Build Him Up

Are you struggling with the man that your husband has become?  Do you wish he were stronger and more confident?  Do you want him to just take charge and be sure of himself?  Do you want him to command respect when he walks into a room?

Now, try to think about what made him the way he is.  Where do your thoughts immediately go?  Do they go to his life as a child and how his parents treated him?  Do they go to his own selfish habits that have seemed to take over his life?  Do any thoughts point straight at you and how you talk to him?

I want to offer the idea that the confidence and self worth of a man depends almost completely on his wife and how she views and treats him.  In an average day, think about how you talk to your husband.  (We’re doing a lot of self-reflecting, but that is good!)  Do you belittle ideas and dreams he has?  Do you thank him for the efforts he makes whether great or small?  Do you challenge his authority in front of the children or even in public?  Derek has said to me many times that there are very few things that can make him feel more confident and strong than for me to just say, “Honey, I just want you to know that I believe in you.”  Derek just wants to know that even when things get overwhelming and he feels defeated, there is one person that still has confidence in him. 

Believing in your husband and building him up is so much more vital than many women understand.  The way you view your husband is more critical to him than how his parents treated him or how his boss treats him.  You can either make or break your husband just by the words you use towards him. Ephesians 4:29 says “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”  Do not let ANY unwholesome talk come out of your mouths….None.  So, when you want to criticize your husband for not putting the dishes away after he washed them…don’t.  When you want to argue with him about how he’s handling the children…don’t.  When you want to belittle him by joking about him in a hurtful way in front of his friends…stop.  If it isn’t going to build him up into believing that he can be a great man of God, then it isn’t worth saying. 

Have things gotten so out of control for you and your marriage that you are having trouble finding anything wholesome or encouraging to say about your husband?  Paul encourages us that “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent of praiseworthy” then we are to “think about such things.”  (Phil. 4:8)  Your husband may only have three praiseworthy attributes about him.  But, whatever they are, list them out and meditate on them.  Satan is going to inundate you with the negatives, but God says to focus on his positives.  Praise your husband for the things that he does right, instead of tearing him down for the things he does wrong.

Are you still struggling to see any good in your husband at all?  (Believe me, there are many of you out there who will struggle to see any good at all.  This isn’t necessarily because your husband is so bad, but instead because Satan has such a hold on your marriage that he has blinded you to all truth.  If you do feel this way, trust me when I say, you aren’t alone.) Focus on the one thing that I know is true of every man out there.  He has been created in the image of God.  Tell your husband that you believe in Him because he has been made in the image of your Savior and you believe that he can do great things because of that one truth. 

Stop glossing over this scripture, and begin building your husband up instead of tearing him down.  Try it, and I am confident that the Lord will take your encouragement and help your husband to grow into a fierce man of confidence and strength.

—Want to think about this a little more?  This is a great article that I found.  When you read it, try to focus on using all of his suggestions towards your spouse.  Don’t get distracted about being more encouraging to your kids or coworkers.  These are great people to encourage, but your husband is first and foremost.  Concentrate on one at a time.

—Missed any of the previous “Put It Into Practice” posts?  Go here to catch up.

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Posted by: lisarguyer | September 28, 2009

Put It Into Practice: Submission

NOTE: This post is for those of you wives who are already resolved to the idea that God’s word is the final authority and that God’s way is better.  This is for those of you who are truly searching to do things in the way that God has planned for us.  If you aren’t at this point yet, then the following post may be difficult for you to accept.  If so, I have another post, entitled It’s Not Burdensome, that I have put up to hopefully encourage those of you struggling with the idea of submitting to your husband.

“Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”

Ephesians 5:24 NIV

I struggled back and forth when picking out which verse to start this series with.  I really felt led to this verse but didn’t want to start out with such a hard and controversial verse either.  I searched and searched but continued to be drawn back to the root of many of the problems that we see today in marriage – a wife who is unwilling to submit to her husband.

Many Christian wives would think of themselves as being submissive.  When asked, they would say, “Of course, my husband is the head of our household.”  Yet, if we were to look in on a typical day in our homes what would we really see?  When our children get out of control and our husbands decide to try a different childrearing method, how do we respond?  Do we argue and refuse to try his new method?  Do you question his authority in front of the children? 

What about when your husband comes home and says that you, as a family, are going to go to visit a couple that needs encouragement instead of going to a night with your extended family that has been planned for weeks?  What if it’s a decision that seems like the wrong way to go?  What if he decides that you are going to start taking $50 out of every paycheck to go towards a new boat?  Do you submit then?

The scriptures don’t say, “Wives should submit to their husbands in everything as long as it seems like a good idea.”  It says, “in everything”…period.  You might be thinking, “Okay, Lisa, that’s great for you.  Derek always makes the best decisions and is always looking out for your best interests.  What about my husband who is usually making selfish decisions and frequently makes major errors in judgment?”  That is when our faith comes into play.  Faith in our husbands to really try and make the best decisions for our families, but beyond that a faith in God to take whatever decision our husbands make and use it for good to work out His plan for us.  Do you trust that God will take care of you and bless you for this obedience? Read through Deuteronomy 28 for a little insight in how God has blessed and punished his people in the past according to their obedience.

“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.”  Do you want your house to stand firm against all of the winds and rains that come our way in life?  Give yourself a firm foundation and just simply obey.  Submit to your husband in everything.

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Posted by: lisarguyer | September 28, 2009

It’s Not Burdensome

I have written about submission before and about letting your husband lead as it talks about in scripture.  We have gotten quite a few negative comments, but it all comes down to this.  Do you believe that scripture is God-breathed and the one authority for your life?  If so, then you must take what you read and apply it…no matter if it seems “old-fashioned” or if it seems impossible. 

In 1 John 5, the author explains this very concept. “Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ is born of God, and everyone who loves the father loves his child as well. This is how we know that we love the children of God: by loving God and carrying out his commands. This is love for God: to obey his commands. And his commands are not burdensome, for everyone born of God overcomes the world…”  His commands are not burdensome, because He is the one who created us.  He knows the best way that his creation should work.  Derek gave this example while speaking at a church in Ohio a while back on this subject: 

Picture a man who built a car.  He knows everything about the car.  How it runs best, what can cause it to break down, what can make it run more efficiently, etc.  One day he gives the car to someone, along with the manual of operating instructions and hints and tips on how it runs best.  The man takes the car but throws the manual on the passenger’s seat unopened.  He then gets behind the car and begins pushing it.  The car maker looks at him and says, “You know, there’s an easier way to do that…”  The man grunts as he’s pushing and says, “Yeah, thanks but I think I’ll just do it my way.”  The car maker looks confused and again says, “Yes, but if you would just get the keys and put them in the ignition…”  “Look, I don’t need your help, I’ll just do this on my own,” the man replies.  The car maker just stands back shaking his head. 

Seems silly, huh?  But that is exactly what we are doing when we read a verse like this and say things like: “Oh that’s just old-fashioned.  God doesn’t really want us to still live like that.  Women aren’t oppressed like that anymore.  Men have no authority over us.”

For those of you thinking those very things, go ahead and keep pushing your car.  Push it all around town until you get tired of fighting with it.  Then, for once, just try doing it the Creator’s way. Will your husband always make the right decision?  Will he always be looking out for your best interest?  Will he never take advantage of this “power”?  We can only hope those things are true, but we know that men make mistakes.  Our real hope doesn’t lie in our husbands to always do the right thing, but in God to take our obedience and bless us for it.

“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.”  So, now, the question remains…do you believe that God is your creator and thus knows what’s best for you?  If you do, then obey his commands. “Wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” 

If you have any further questions about submission and the practicality of it, please contact us. We understand the personal nature of these subjects and would be happy to talk with you privately about it.

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Posted by: lisarguyer | September 24, 2009

Put Them Into Practice

“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.”

Matthew 7:24-27 NIV

Pretty familiar story, huh?  Well, I thought so too as I started looking at this.  I actually just brushed over it in my reading because I have read it so many times and know the gist of the story.  However, I went back through it slowly when my eye caught the words at the very beginning before the actual story begins.  “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and PUTS THEM INTO PRACTICE…”

Now that’s a higher calling than I think some of us are used to.  Of course, we know we what we are supposed to be doing as wives – submitting to and respecting our husbands (Eph 6 and 1 Pet. 3).  But how many of us actually put that into practice?  I think that more often than not, we “hear” those words of Christ, but don’t take the necessary steps to put them into practice.

So, I would really like to begin challenging the wives to begin a journey with me.  This will be a lot like the weekly challenges that Derek was doing before.  However, I am going to be focusing on verses that specifically pertain to wives.

We have all been through times where we get restless in our marriages.  We don’t seem to be content and are unhappy with the way things are going.  We try to pinpoint the problem…something that our husbands are doing wrong, the kids, financial issues, etc etc.  However, in reality, I believe that when we get this restless feeling, we ourselves are actually overlooking or avoiding some truth that God has already revealed to us and are then in direct disobedience to Him.  I’m hoping that by reminding ourselves of some of these verses that we have “heard” many times, we can begin revealing those areas in our lives where we aren’t putting them into practice and, in turn, begin repenting of those sins.

I want us to become women whose foundations are built on the rock – the truth.  Women who when the rains come and the winds blow, our homes will stand and not crash around us, because we have not only heard what we should do but are putting it all into practice.

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Posted by: lisarguyer | September 12, 2009

At What Cost?

Yesterday, my brother-in-law and his family left to go to Ethiopia to bring home their new son, Solomon.  They have been working towards adopting him for about a year now.  I am so excited for them, and I can’t wait to meet my newest nephew.  However, thinking of their travels to get their new son makes me think back to the time that Derek and I were preparing to adopt our twin boys.  We were pretty far along in the process when I made the choice that I did to have an affair.  We had pictures of the boys, names picked out, and most of our paperwork and homestudy completed.  Even their cribs were put together!  In probably just a matter of a few months, I would have been traveling overseas to bring my babies home as well.

So what was I thinking when I decided to get involved with another man?  Honestly, I wasn’t.  I wasn’t thinking about the cost that my actions might have.  When Eve took the apple from Satan she wasn’t thinking about the cost—only the allure.  And when she did stop to think about the cost (for that split second) Satan quickly assured her that her actions were free of consequences.  Or that they would at least be much less than what God had threatened them with.

When Satan puts ideas like having an affair, or looking at pornography, or texting with an old boyfriend into our minds, he doesn’t list out all of the pros and cons so that we can make a wise choice.  He is the master of deception.  He knows how to twist the truth and make us believe that consequences will not come.

So, to those of you currently in an affair, at what cost are you enjoying yourself?  What are you truly giving up?  For me, I gave up two beautiful twin boys, not to mention my first home, my job, my dreams, and my husband’s and family’s trust and respect to only name a few things.  5 years later, I am still reaping the consequences of my actions.  Think about what Satan is taking from you.  Is it worth it?  Will you really look back and say, “Yes, I am glad that I gave all of that up for this momentary pleasure.”  If you say yes, by staying in your affair, then you are in a scary place, my friend.  Scary, because you are giving up many physical blessing but also you are giving up your salvation in Christ.  That’s an awfully high price to pay for a “change of scenery” (or whatever other lie Satan is telling you in order to talk you into it).

Somewhere, there are two little boys who just celebrated their 6th birthday.  I pray that God found them a loving and godly home.  I imagine them playing together, riding their bikes up and down the sidewalk.  I was going to be their mom.  But Satan lied to me and told me that it wasn’t worth it.

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Posted by: Derek Guyer | September 3, 2009

Desperate Wives & Unequipped Men

I can’t tell you how many desperate wives we talk to on a regular basis. I see so many women in the body of Christ who are desperate for men of God who love them and show it. They’re desperate for affection, attention, leadership, help, and companionship. They’re sick of doing the husband’s job and their own at the same time.

This is a deep and horrible problem, but it’s the handy work of Satan himself. He’s taking men out left and right, because he knows that by taking out the leader of the home, he’s taking out the homes themselves and the church as well. This is why we have so many desperate wives. When the head falls apart, so does the rest of the body. 

Ever since we posted about the men’s retreat, we’ve received several questions from people privately about why we chose to only do a men’s retreat instead of a couple’s retreat or a women’s retreat. It’s simple. The problem is starting at the top. Men have lost their place. They are not the leaders they were designed to be, and the effects of this can be seen in their wives.

We’re seeing so many women who are lost. They feel alone. They’re frustrated. They’re angry. They’re resentful. I can’t imagine what it’s like to be in their shoes. When your leader won’t lead, what do you do? How do you follow someone who mistreats you? Doesn’t God want us to be happy? I think there are answers to those questions, but that’s not my purpose for writing this post. I want to emphasize the need for men to learn how to be men and then to take their roles on. Most men don’t know what it means to be a man as God made him to be. They’re tough, but prideful. They’re strong, but abusive. They’re good providers, but controlling. They haven’t learned to use the strength, toughness, and abilities they have properly, and therefore, they destroy what they’ve been given. 

Imagine if you were hired to work for a custom home builder who had an incredible reputation for building beautiful homes. Your first day on the job is spent cleaning up the yard and running to get supplies. It’s sweaty and hard, but you learn a few things and are making some money. The next day, the builder walks up and hands you the architectural drawings and a couple of good books about building homes. He says he’s taking the year off and leaving the business to you. “I’m sorry, you’re what?”

I believe this is what most men feel like has happened to them. They’re scared and confused. They’re overwhelmed. But most of all, I believe they feel alone. They can’t admit they don’t know what to do, because “men know what to do”, right?Wrong. Most men have no idea what it looks or feels like to be a man. All we’ve seen are guys who wanted to be men. I believe Wild at Heart, by John Eldredge, outlines and makes this point clear. He says that men are frequently behaving like “posers”. They’ve never been taught whose image they bear and how that affects things. So, they live in a way that dishonors God and themselves. They’re unequipped and afraid to admit it. They need help.

Marriages, children, the church, and the world all need men of God to rise up. There is a massive battle happening for genuine men of God right now. This is exactly why we believe God led us to create the men’s retreat first. We need leaders. We need men who are “cut from the rock”. We need men of God. We don’t have all of the answers, but we know who does. We know He made us with purpose, and we want to help other men get back to that purpose. Jesus has given us victory. We need to claim it. Rise Up, Men. We hope to see you all at the retreat.

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Posted by: Derek Guyer | September 2, 2009

Not An Option

Marriage is the hardest thing you will ever do. The secret is removing divorce as 
an option. Anybody who gives themselves that option will get a divorce.

-Will Smith (11 years into his second marriage) 

“Therefore, what God has joined together, let man not separate.”

-Jesus

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Posted by: Derek Guyer | August 25, 2009

The Fight

“Life is a hard fight, a struggle, a wrestling with the principle of evil, hand to hand, foot to foot. Every inch of the way is disputed.”

-Florence Nightingale

Our lack of ability to see this truth is doing an incredible amount of harm. Wake up. Your adversary is constantly on the attack. He wants your hearts. He wants your spouse. He wants your home. Rise up and fight.

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Posted by: Derek Guyer | August 19, 2009

Men’s Retreat: Rise Up, Man of God.

retreat logo

“There was war in heaven. Michael and his angels fought against the dragon, and the dragon and his angels fought back. But he was not strong enough, and they lost their place in heaven. The great dragon was hurled down—that ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan, who leads the whole world astray. He was hurled to the earth and his angels with him.

Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say:

“Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God, and the authority of his Christ. For the accuser of our brothers, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down. They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb.”

Revelation 12:7-11 NIV


Did you hear that? Our accuser has been defeated. He has been thrown down. Through Jesus Christ, our Savior, we have been given victory.

So why don’t we live like it? Why do we live in fear and doubt? What are we so afraid of? If we’ve really been “made in the image of God”, what’s wrong with us?

We’ve been lied to. We’ve been deceived. We’ve been tricked. We’ve strayed.

We’ve forgotten the truth about who we are and lost our way. But, God is calling us back. Through Jesus Christ, we’re not just being called back, but we’re being shown The Way. We’re being given the Truth. We’re being given the life. God is waiting for us to Rise Up and claim what is already ours. He’s waiting for us to fight.

Are you ready to stand firm in victory? You aren’t fighting to win. The war has already been won. You’re fighting from a victory that’s already been given to you. So, Rise Up Man of God.

Join Derek Guyer of Rise of the Home and a special guest speaker for a deep look into the original design of men, the war that’s being waged for their hearts in the Heavens, and a journey into their purpose in the home, the church, and the world as a result of the victory they’ve been given through Jesus Christ.

October 23rd-25th, 2009 will be a weekend of challenge, study, fellowship, and overcoming. We will watch together as God crushes Satan’s head in our own lives and we stand strong together as men of God. You’ll hear stories of men from all over the country who have been, and still are, defeating incredible odds through the power and love of Jesus Christ. You’ll hear powerful truths that stand at the crux of God’s word. But mostly, you’ll learn how to overcome.

For more information on the retreat or to submit your registration, click here to get more information on our Events page.

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